My first conference call!!!!

Hey there....Just checking in. I guess I should clarify to everyone that I walked out last week on Tuesday, not yesterday. I was just re reading that last post and realized that it made it sound like I just walked out yesterday, lol! I walked out on Tuesday and then spent Wednesday, Thursday, and part of Friday trying to consider all of my options and figure out what I REALLY wanted to do, and what I COULD do.

I decided that I REALLY want to give the working from home as a loan processor thing a shot. I called the lady who was trying to hire me (Sandy), and told her on last Friday that I wanted to do it. I have decided that now is the time to really do what I want to do. I mean, what can it hurt? I can give it two months, and if it doesn't work out, then I will move on and get a regular office job. But I really want to do this. I have wanted to work from home for years, and have never been able to find a job that wasn't a scam. So now I have this opportunity, and I want to take it. So I have made lots of phone calls to introduce myself to the other loan officers (besides Sandy, of course, lol), and I had my first conference call this past Tuesday.

SO let me tell you about this conference call. It started at 10 a.m. I woke up at 9:45 a.m. I let my dog outside, I went to the bathroom, and I went back into my bedroom. I then got my notebook out, and my pen. I then smoked a cigarette and read my book until 9:59 a.m. At 9:59 a.m., I dialed into the conference call. I then spent the next two hours listening to what was being said, smoking cigarettes, taking notes....all from the comfort of my bed, in my pajamas!!! How flipping cool is that? LOL! I also made contacts with some of the other loan officers, and I have already been promised three files! Plus, Sandy should have at least another five this month that she wants me to work on, PLUS everyone who works under Sandy will be sending their files to me, too! I am SOOO excited about this!

Anyway, like I said, I'm just checking in and giving ya'll an update....Wish me luck!

FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did it! I quit! I just walked out!!!!

Well, I didn't JUST walk out... I did say a couple of things that I probably shouldn't have. But compared to all of the things that I WANTED to say, I thought I was pretty grown up about it! LOL! Okay, here's what happened:

First, she spent the ENTIRE morning yelling and bitching at me (but that's normal, lol!). Then she got a phone call. The phone call was from the internet company that provides service to her house. (Let me insert here that my first job at the company where I was a LOAN PROCESSOR was to get internet service set up at her house.) They called and asked to speak to me (since I was the person who set it up), because the bill had not been paid. So she called me into the office and said "Do you have internet at your house?" And I said, "No." (And I DON'T!) and she said "Uh-huh." So I started to walk out of the office, and she said "NO, you stay RIGHT there!" Then she got back on the phone and said, "What is the billing address on that account?" (She had them on speaker phone.) They told her the work address, so she said, "And what is the address where the service is set up?" And they told her the work address again. Then she asked me who the company was. So I told her that they were the company that provided service to her house. She said, "Oh. Okay, go tell Sam to come here." She HONESTLY thought that I was getting internet service at my house and billing it to the company! So at that point, she had already questioned my intelligence and my job performance....now she was questioning my integrity! I was walking a fine line at that point. Then she went back into her office and proceeded to degrade me and my job performance to one of our lenders for twenty minutes. Then she called me into her office and berated me for almost 30 minutes, including about why I had not faxed what are called "hard numbers" to our lender (hard numbers that SHE had created and not told me were done), then she said the thing that was my final straw. She said "I have 100 resumes for secretaries who would love to have this job and communicate with me, and do your job with the intelligence that you don't." That was it for me. I was done. I told her maybe she needed to call one of those people, and I walked out of her office while she was bitching at me. She said "HELLO?!" I said, "Marci, I am done, I quit, I can't take it anymore." She said "That's fine, just great, you do what you have to do." And I said, "And you can fax your hard numbers yourself." She said "I would love to!" And I said, on my way out the door, "And you can kiss my ass while you are at it." And I walked out. I was crying so hard when I got in my car that I couldn't even drive. It was a very dark, rainy day, but after I sat in my car for a couple of minutes, the clouds parted and the sun shone down into my car....lol! It was like a movie or something! And at that point, I quit crying, and drove away. I have felt SO much better about life ever since!

I have made the decision to take the other loan processing job that I was offered that I talked about in my last post. The one working from home. I have got everything figured out to where I will be good for the next two months with no paycheck (although I hope to have a paycheck much sooner than that! LOL). I am getting my income tax back, and it will be enough to pay my rent and bills for the next two months, plus get a new laptop, because I am going to need one. I am also watching a friend's daughter instead of her going to daycare during the week, so I have a little bit of income every week. I am so excited about all of this! I talked to a few of the people that I am working with already, and I have been promised three files by the end of the week, which is MUCH sooner than I expected. AND, my name has been added to the employee roster on the company website already!!! How COOL is that?! I am SOOO excited! I feel like this is the EXACT thing that I was supposed to do at this EXACT time in my life!!!

Thanks for listening! Wish me luck!!!!

Calling all readers and advice givers....

Okay, I have tried really hard to stay away from posts about my job, because for a while those are the only posts I was doing. But I am to my wits end at this point, so I have to blog about it.

I have never been more unhappy in my life. I have taken verbal abuse, name calling, screaming, constant derrogatory comments about my intelligence, and various threats regarding my pay for the last 3 and a half months. I have cried, I have tried to talk to her reasonably about why I can't work this way, I have tried to ignore it, I have tried to laugh it off, and I have tried giving as good as I got and yelling back at her. Nothing seems to make any difference.

The sad thing is, I really love my job. People come to us who have never owned a home before, who have bad credit and low income, who have no one else to turn to. I love the feeling I get from helping these people to own their own home for their family. It is an amazing feeling to know that I can help someone like that. But I can't handle being treated the way I am.

I have started taking two, sometimes three, pills a day for my acid reflux now. I am always tired. I moved in December, and still haven't gotten everything unpacked from my house, because I just don't have the energy to do it. I constantly have an upset stomach, and when it isn't upset, all I do is eat and smoke. I never go to Kelly's house anymore, I don't do anything but sit at my house. I haven't even written to Ryan in months. I cry almost every day, whether it is at work while I am taking a smoke break, or after work when I get home.

I got a job offer doing practically the same thing I am doing now, just on the lender's side, not the buyer's side. I would be working from home, and I would be making commission, but on average based on past performance, it would be more than I am making now. The problem is that it would take 30 to 45 days with no income before I got up and running. I would give ANYTHING to have the chance to do this, but I don't know how I could possibly go that long with no income. I am working on a plan...but I don't know if it is going to work.

I just don't know what else to do at this point. I can't handle going through this anymore, but I can't be unemployed or not have income, either. *sigh* I don't know what to do..... Any advice? It would be GREATLY appreciated!

An update for everyone who knows Kelly....

For everyone who knows Kelly over at Green Olives and Pickle Juice.....

As I am sure you know already, her biological dad passed away on Monday. She has her adoptive dad and her biological dad. Her biological dad lived in Arizona and had a heart attack Monday.

I feel for her, having just lost my own biological dad, and wish her all my sympathies for her loss. She found out right before we left work on Monday, and she was a wreck. I took her home and stayed with her until her husband got home from work. She left on Tuesday afternoon on a plane going to Arizona. I have talked to her every night since. She was going to come back on Friday, but the service isn't until 2:30 p.m. Friday, and the last plane on her airline leaving Phoenix leaves at 5:30 p.m., so she isn't going to make that flight. She is going to be leaving Phoenix at 5:00 a.m. instead.

She seems to be doing okay. She is helping her step-mother pack the house up, because Marilynn (the step-mother) says she can't stay in that house with him gone. So Kelly is keeping busy, and that is the best thing for her right now I think. She will call me again tonight and I will update you all again tomorrow.

Please keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers. Between Kelly and I, we have had more deaths in our families in the past five years (starting in 2003 with my mother) than anyone else we know. Death is a hard thing to deal with, and a hard thing to get past.... We all do it in our own way and our own time. Kelly is a lot stronger than she gives herself credit for, and she will get through this. It will NEVER be okay....I always hate it when people tell me that it is....but it will get easier.....

Love you Kelly!

Oh my goodness! How cute!

Oh my goodness! Look what was in my inbox today!!!

How absolutely adorable is that?! Now first of all, who would create a pig that small just for the heck of it? I don't know, but since they did, I want one! The little snippet that was in my email with the pics said that they are really easy to house train, and you should always get two, not just one, because then they have company. I could handle having two of these! They are so flipping adorable!

I don't know how well that would go over with my dog, though. LOL! Can you imagine being the only pet in a house and all of a sudden having to share your space and your owner with two pigs that are WAY to tiny to really be pigs? LOL! My puppy would probably bust a gut laughing at these two little guys! She poops bigger than these fella's! I can just see the look on her face now....I can hear her thoughts....."Um...Ma.....if this is supper, I think you got the wrong kind, cause this is still moving!" "Mom, seriously.....these aren't even big enough to chew on! What good are they?!"

*sigh*...but they are cute, aren't they?!

EVERYBODY COME LOOK AT MY NEW LAYOUT!!!

Oh how gorgeous is this!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Kori, you are AMAZING! I absolutely LOVE IT! I am just blown away! I can't believe you took my little vague description and turned it into this!

EVERYBODY COME LOOK AT MY NEW LAYOUT!!!

New Layout Coming Soon!!!

I am SOOO excited! Princess is designing me a new layout!

I have wanted a new layout for a long time, but I am NO good at that stuff, and I couldn't find one that really just grabbed me. So then Kelly got a new layout designed for her by Princess, and it was AWESOME! So I got in touch with Princess via her blog (which is linked on her name above in the first sentence. Go check it out!), and BEGGED her to use her amazing talents to design a layout for me! And she has DONE IT! There are a couple of things that I asked her to tweak for me (just personal preference kinds of things, not technical things, lol!), and hopefully I will be getting it soon!

I am SOOO excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!