Calling all readers and advice givers....

Okay, I have tried really hard to stay away from posts about my job, because for a while those are the only posts I was doing. But I am to my wits end at this point, so I have to blog about it.

I have never been more unhappy in my life. I have taken verbal abuse, name calling, screaming, constant derrogatory comments about my intelligence, and various threats regarding my pay for the last 3 and a half months. I have cried, I have tried to talk to her reasonably about why I can't work this way, I have tried to ignore it, I have tried to laugh it off, and I have tried giving as good as I got and yelling back at her. Nothing seems to make any difference.

The sad thing is, I really love my job. People come to us who have never owned a home before, who have bad credit and low income, who have no one else to turn to. I love the feeling I get from helping these people to own their own home for their family. It is an amazing feeling to know that I can help someone like that. But I can't handle being treated the way I am.

I have started taking two, sometimes three, pills a day for my acid reflux now. I am always tired. I moved in December, and still haven't gotten everything unpacked from my house, because I just don't have the energy to do it. I constantly have an upset stomach, and when it isn't upset, all I do is eat and smoke. I never go to Kelly's house anymore, I don't do anything but sit at my house. I haven't even written to Ryan in months. I cry almost every day, whether it is at work while I am taking a smoke break, or after work when I get home.

I got a job offer doing practically the same thing I am doing now, just on the lender's side, not the buyer's side. I would be working from home, and I would be making commission, but on average based on past performance, it would be more than I am making now. The problem is that it would take 30 to 45 days with no income before I got up and running. I would give ANYTHING to have the chance to do this, but I don't know how I could possibly go that long with no income. I am working on a plan...but I don't know if it is going to work.

I just don't know what else to do at this point. I can't handle going through this anymore, but I can't be unemployed or not have income, either. *sigh* I don't know what to do..... Any advice? It would be GREATLY appreciated!