Okay....longer update...I can't believe I have been gone so long!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so here goes.... I went to see R in November/December and he proposed....ya'll all knew that, lol! Well, right after Christmas my brother got in some more trouble, and I decided that the best thing to do all around would be to move him and me and my little sister out of that horrible town and get back up to the Dallas area....where I would be happy, and I could do SO MUCH MORE for them! PLUS they would be away from all of the horrible influences they have down there. So....after I got my income tax check (the middle/end of February) I paid the deposit and rent on a house in the Dallas area. A town outside of Dallas. My brother and I moved up here, and my sister wanted me to come back and get her in a week. Well, my brother spent two weeks up here and decided he wanted to move back in with his piece of s*** dad. And my sister decided she didn't want to move up here at all. So they are both living with their dad. Now, this is a horrible situation, and they are SO MUCH WORSE off there than they EVER were with me (for a lot of reasons, but I don't want to go into those now....)...but they made the choice, and I can't keep them from him. My brother is 15 now and my sister is 18. I can't force them to do what I want them to do. So...here I am....in a town 3 hours away from them, living in a 3 bedroom house by myself. I love my house, though! I have to say that! I am paying WAY too much for it, but I love it! It's exactly the kind of place I want my R to come home to, and I am having a BLAST going garage saleing and thrift storing to get all of the little things I need that will make it our home and not just a house! I have never really had the time or the money to do that with the kids such a big priority in my life....now I do....it's weird...but I am loving the decorating part! I miss my bro and sis....so much....and I worry so much about them....but i've done what I can do, and they know how to get in touch with me if they ever want to move back in with me. They know I love them, and I talk to my little sister a couple of times a week.

So....I came up here and was looking for a job....and I went to a temporary agency, and they said they needed a copy of my social security card. I couldn't find mine, so I went to the SS office to get another one sent to me! AND GUESS WHAT?! My real dad's name was on my social security information! Okay....some basics real quick....I was born in October of 79, my mother married my step father in January of 80. So my whole life (until I turned 18 and my mother told me PART of the truth) I thought my step dad WAS my real dad....which really hurt me a lot because of the horrible way he treated me. BUT...she finally told me he wasn't when I was 18, but she wouldn't tell me who WAS....she said she didn't want to talk about it right then. Well....then she passed away in 2003, and we never talked about it again. I thought the secret was forever lost with her!!!!!!!!!!! But there it was, right there on my social security forms!!!!!!!!!!! And it was kind of a unique name....so my friend Kelly and I went to her house and we got online! AND WE FOUND HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How amazing is that?! We found his name and his phone number (he lives in Colorado) and I called him! It was the CRAZIEST phone call I have ever made! I mean, really....how do you call a man who lives in another state that you have never met and say "hey....dude.....you've missed 28 birthdays now...do you think you could come to the 29th?" Or "Hey....guess what? It's a girl!" LOL! Well, I did it with a little more tact than all of that! He was/is so sweet to me....he was in complete shock and at first didn't remember my mother...well, that's because no one ever called her by her first name when she was younger...they all called her by a nickname....so when I mentioned that nickname to him and that she had a belt with it on there.....he got SOOOOO quiet....so I kept going on and describing her....and he stopped me...he said "I remember her....oh God....Dusty.....she passed away?????" And then he started crying! And he never knew that I existed....they got in a fight and she left him and never told him!!!! Okay....I have SO MUCH MORE to say on this subject...but I am at work, and I don't want to start crying, which I am already having to hold back....so I am going to move on to something else...OH...but guess what?!?!!? I was conceived in Phoenix!!!!!!!!!!!! How weird is that?!!!???!! No WONDER I love it so much!!!! LOLOLOL!

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