Well, I don't know what music I am listening to right now because I am in Kelly's bedroom and the music is in the living room...but I can hear it a little bit! loL! Yep...I said Kelly's house! I am in Rockwall! I am so excited to be here, but I am sad because I am going home today. I REALLY miss being up here....Carthage is horrible, and I hate it and I hate being there. Just knowing I have to go home is so DEPRESSING!
I just want to be able to stay here and go back to living my life the way it was before....before my mom got sick, before she died, before I had two kids (my brother and sister) to raise, before I had to think about what was good for everyone else, not just what would be good for me. I know that sounds selfish, but I can't help the way I feel.
My sister is 18 now, and she always says she is an adult and I should treat her like one. Well, she is 18, living in MY house, quit school her senior year and hasn't gone to enroll in GED classes yet, she doesn't have a job, her and her friends stay at MY house, use MY water to take their showers, watch TV and listen to the radio with the electricity I pay for, eat the food I buy, use MY car with MY gas to do what they want to do....do they sound like grownups??? And then, when I bitch at her for not doing something she KNOWS she should have done or for doing something she KNOWS shouldn't have done.....she tells me she is grown and I should treat her like it! Well, FREAKING act like it and I might be able to TREAT you like it!!!
Not to mention that she and my brother both are COMPLETELY disrespectful.....I turned my life around to take care of our mom when she was sick and them when their dad kicked them out! I'm not asking them to kiss my ass or even be grateful for everything I do for them...I would just like them to respect me in my own home....respect me for being the one person in their lives at this point who has stuck around and taken care of them! I don't want their gratitude, I just want their respect! But they just don't seem to be able to do it! So, then, I tell them I want to move back to the Dallas area, I want to come back to Rockwall, and what do they say? Michael (who is 15) says he's not moving out of Carthage, I can go where I want to, he will just find a place to live. Melinda says "don't let me hold you back, you do what you want to do, but I'm not going anywhere!" So what am I supposed to do?! Seriously just pick up and leave them like everyone else has??? Neither one of them can honestly take care of themselves because they don't freaking want to, because I have done it for so long!!! So, what am I going to do? I am going to go back home and be freaking miserable and live in freaking Carthage and work at the same freaking job I have because that's what pays the bills and keeps us going and just suck it up. Because that's what adults do, right? Right.
Okay....sorry about all of that....I just had to get that off of my chest. Thanks.
2 comments:
have a good week:) its got to be hard to raise your siblings prayers for all
Deb
If you could live anywhere in the world right now BESIDES ROCKWALL or ARIZONA, where would you live and why?
What is your favorite style of music and why?
Who is your hero and why?
You have been raising your brother and sister for the last 4 years (approximately), what would you say is the greatest experience you have brought away from that?
When you get married, if Carroll came to you and said I am sorry for being an ass, would you accept him back into your life as a stepfather, your b/s lives as a father, your childrens lives as a grandfather and a father in law to Ryan? why or why not?
Go to my original interview entry and copy and paste.... :) Good luck with all that.. :)
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